Three guys go down to Vegas one night, get drunk and wake up in jail. The engineer sees the glass as twice as big as it needs to be. . “I’m here because my house and all my belongings were destroyed by a flood, and my insurance company also paid for everything.”. The car’s occupants, shaken but unhurt, now had a problem: they were stuck halfway down a mountain in a car with no brakes. 120 Best Funny Pick Up Lines The major difference between a thing that might go wrong and a thing that cannot possibly go wrong is that when a thing that cannot possibly go wrong goes wrong, it usually turns out to be impossible to get at and repair. The bullet lands 20m passed the deer. Oct 19, 2018 - If it isn't broken, take it apart and fix it. it's funny how much you would lose if you forgot about your past, it's funny how when you need someone they never are around, 20+ Funny Birthday Wishes for Engineers Memes and Quotes. “Engineering is the art of directing the great sources of power in nature for the use and convenience of man.” - Thomas Tredgold. “We shape our buildings, thereafter they shape us.” - Winston Churchill. The first one is strapped in the electric chair and is asked if he has any last words. The second one is strapped in and gives his last words. Showing search results for "Funny Engineering" sorted by relevance. Plus, the funny engineer sayings t-shirts you see above start at just $14.95. They were driving down a steep mountain road when suddenly the brakes on their car failed. We did our best to bring you only the best jokes about engineers. I don’t have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog, now that’s cool!”. They spot a buck, and each take turn to try and bag it. This is my top 20 favorite engineer quotes, nuff said. The engineer said, “In the neighborhood of $100,000 a year, depending on the benefit’s package.”, The HR Manager said, “Well, what would you say to a package of $200,000 a year, 5 weeks vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental, company matching retirement fund to 50% of salary, and a company car leased every 2 years – say, a red Mercedes?”, The engineer sat up straight and said, “Wow!!! You’re between 59 and 60 degrees north latitude and between 107 and 108 degrees west longitude.”. Funny Engineer T-Shirts from Spreadshirt Unique designs Easy 30 day return policy Shop Funny Engineer T-Shirts now! Custom and user added quotes with pictures. The lawyer looked somewhat confused. A Software Engineer, a Hardware Engineer, and a Departmental Manager were on their way to a meeting. What's the difference between civil engineers and mechanical engineers? Also, it was a very difficult and rigorous course. it's funny how forever never seems to last, He worked it out with a pencil. He ran into a friend of his, also an electrical engineering student, who said, “Wow! Funny quotes. Civil engineers build targets. 30 Funniest One Liner Jokes 1. “You must be an engineer,” said the balloonist. The frog then cries out, “If you kiss me and turn me back, I’ll do whatever you say!” Again the engineer takes the frog out, smiles at it, and puts it back into his pocket. And just where are you going to get a lawyer?”. The engineer was interviewed first, and was asked a long list of questions, ending with: “How much is two plus two?” The engineer excused himself, and made a series of measurements and calculations before returning to the boardroom and announcing, “Four.”, The physicist was interviewed next, and was asked the same questions. We’ve got air conditioning and flush toilets and escalators, and there’s no telling what this engineer is going to come up with next.”, God’s face clouded over and he exploded, “What? That doesn’t work. At the end of his interview, before answering the last question, he drew all the shades in the room, looked outside the door to see if anyone was there, checked the telephone for listening devices, and asked, “How much do you want it to be?”, Reaching the end of a job interview, the Human Resources Manager asked the young engineer fresh out of university, “And what starting salary were you looking for?” The lawyer said, “I’m here because my house burned down, and everything I owned was destroyed by the fire. That sure is a great bike. So later, when he finds that his pipe ashes have set the bed sheet on fire, he is not in the least taken aback. Our goal is to help you by delivering amazing quotes to bring inspiration, personal growth, love and happiness to your everyday life. Many of these quotes are common in the profession, often attributed to various sources. An engineer is someone who washes his hands before going to the toilet. Improvement makes strait roads: but the crooked roads without Improvement are roads of Genius. Later that night the chemist smells smoke too. He would have to ask an engineer to do that." But can you ????? . “Hmm”, says the physicist, “You mean that some Scottish sheep are black”. 2. He smells the smoke, wakes up, unplugs the coffee maker, throws it out the window, and goes back to sleep. The doctor smiled at the engineer and came close to his ear and said…. The physicist uses his glasses to focus the sunlight to burn a hole in the can. Engineer Gifts for Women Men I speak 4 languages English Profanity Sarcasm Engineering Funny Quotes Gifts for Engineer Graduation Student. The engineer takes the frog out of his pocket, smiles at it, and returns it to the pocket. Did you hear about the constipated engineer? Engineering Humor "A scientist can discover a new star, but he cannot make one. Great Birthday gift and Christmas present. What were they to do? An electrical engineer crosses a road when a frog calls out to him, “If you kiss me, I’ll turn into a beautiful princess.”. 77 Best Funny Love Quotes They are not for making money. Happy Engineers Day Funny Quotes. Good move. One can reduce the temperature of the fuel below the flash point; isolate the burning material from oxygen, or both. Engineering Quotes Sayings & Quotations Collection. Where did you get it?”, “Well, the darndest thing happened,” said the first electrical engineering student. You see, my ambition was not to confound the engineering world but simply to create a beautiful piece of art. See more ideas about humor, engineering, engineering humor. How does one put out a fire? Explore our collection of motivational and famous quotes by authors you know and love. Engineering...to define rudely but not inaptly, is the art of doing that well with one dollar, which any bungler can do with two after a fashion. The engineer smiled back came close to doctors ear and said I can pick any dead engine and make it alive . "Scientists dream about doing great things. The frog then cries out, “If you kiss me and turn me back, I’ll do whatever you say!” Again the engineer takes the frog out, smiles at it, and puts it back into his pocket. You just have to read these funny quotes about engineering. Choose a blank t-shirt to create your own from scratch. The mathematician, of course, has been watching all this out the window. Are you joking?”, And the HR Manager said, “Of course, …but you started it.”. Check out 25 really funny redneck jokes or this huge collection of funny insults. 29 entries are tagged with funny engineering quotes. They find out that they’re to be executed for their crimes but none of them can remember what they have done. The chemist tries to erode the can. mechanical engineer, coffee, funny, caffeine, espresso, latte, coffee beans, cappuccino, cool, cute, awesome, quotes, sayings, mechanical engineer bestfriend, mechanical engineer boyfriend, mechanical engineer employee, mechanical engineer co worker, mechanical engineer staff, mechanical engineer personnel, mechanical engineer student, mechanical engineer graduate, mechanical engineer … What more do you want?” I don't know where most of those came from, they were floating around on the 'Net. An engineer, a physicist, and an accountant were being interviewed for a position as chief executive officer of a large corporation. The goal of science and engineering is to build better mousetraps. Laugh at 17 really funny engineering jokes. Maybe you want to start designing your own funny engineer sayings t-shirt designs from a blank slate. One is quantum electrodynamics and the other is the turbulent motion of fluids. He says, “I am a priest and I believe in the almighty power of God to intervene on behalf of the innocent.” They throw the switch and nothing happens; so they figure God must not want this guy to die, and let him go. A good scientist is a person with original ideas. You’ll have to spend several sleepless nights and skip partying with friends just to study. Our next quotation comes from the other half of the world-class and world-renowned brand Rolls-Royce – Henry Royce, engineer par excellence. “The road to success is always under construction”. What is the difference between mechanical engineers and civil engineers? Facebook Haha Funny Thoughts Secrets Hate Love. “But remember this, Japanese boy... airplanes are not tools for war. Please Like Us On Facebook Or Follow Us On Pinterest Now, 30 Best Funny Movie Quotes A good engineer is a person who makes a design that works with as few original ideas as possible. If you are Electrical or Electronic Engineer, Student, Electrician, Technician or hobbyist, We are sure that you are a part of one of them in the following image gallery. After a while, the underworld had air conditioning, flush toilets, and escalators, and the engineer was becoming a pretty popular guy among the demons. Get inspired by reading the above quote [""] Be inspired wherever you go with great quotes. 62. Here Funny Engineer Quotes is a quote to enrich your life. The frog speaks up again and says, “If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will stay with you for one week.” The engineer takes the frog out of his pocket, smiles at it, and returns it to the pocket. . I like having an engineer on the staff, and I’m keeping him.”, God was as mad as he had ever been, “This is not the way things are supposed to work and you know it. That doesn’t work either. Powered by  - Designed with the Hueman theme, 1 An Electrical Engineer And Talking Frog, 3 Joke About An Engineer, A Statistician, And A Physicist, 4 Electrical Engineering Student And His Friend, 6 The Way Software Engineer Sees A Solution, 10 An Engineer, A Chemist, And A Mathematician Stuck In An Old Motel, 11 Joke About A Lawyer And An Engineer In The Caribbean, 12 Engineer Competing To Be Chief Executive Officer, 15 Mechanical Engineers Versus Civil Engineers, 17 Best Arrested Development Quotes By Tobias Funke You Need To Know, 205 Best Comebacks And Funny Insults That Will Make You…, Funny Comic Strips: ‘All Humor Comics #3’, 93 Funny One Liner Jokes So Good You'll Laugh Till You Cry, 37 Best Anthony Jeselnik Jokes & Quotes That Will Make You LOL, 55 Best Mitch Hedberg Quotes & Jokes That Will Make You LOL, 55 Best Funny Irish Blessings, Sayings, & Proverbs, 35 Best Funny Drinking Toasts For Friends You Need To Know, 15 Funny Insulting Names To Call Your Friends & More To Know, 49 Most Savage Roasts And Jokes List That Will Shut All Jerks Up, 35 Funny Spongebob Roasts, Quotes, And Jokes, 99+ [Unique] Funny & Serious Dog Names You Need To Know. “I had no talent for science. it's funny how ironic life turns out to be, I was amazed to find that there are some good programming quotes that are really funny and need some brains to figure out the fun part. 10 Engineering Quotes “As engineers, we were going to be in a position to change the world – not just study it.” —Henry Petroski, American engineer and author specializing in failure analysis “The scientist discovers a new type of material or energy and the engineer discovers a new use for it.” . You can also check out the best of funny acronyms. An engineer is someone who is good with figures, but doesn't have the personality of an accountant. You made a promise, which you’ve no idea how to keep, and you expect people beneath you to solve your problems. 20+ Funny Web Developer & Software Programmer Quotes We collected some cool web designer quotes not long ago and thought a follow up with the web developer version would be an awesome idea just so we don’t hurt anybody’s feelings if they are more coding oriented. 10. Funny Electrical Engineering Students and Electricians (Images Story) Today, We are going to be off topic (may be not in some cases) to show you some funny parts of Electrical Engineering that happens or happened around us. “I am an attorney and I believe in the eternal power of Justice to intervene on the part of the innocent.” The switch is thrown and again nothing happens.Figuring the law is on this guy’s side, they let him go. With that in mind, I offer my top ten engineering quotes. After a few minutes he’s ready, he takes aim, and he fires. Either way, you will have a blast laughing at our hilarious jokes. An engineer, a statistician, and a physicist are out hunting. Happy Engineers Day Quotes. “How do you start a flood?” he asked. Funny Civil Engineering Quotes An engineer is someone who is good with figures, but doesn’t have the personality of an accountant. It is amazing that almost anything is made fun of and engineering doesn’t escape the list. Science is about knowing; engineering is about doing. There is no one area of chemical engineering that specifically helped me in my career as an astronaut, it was more the general education in engineering. A theory may be so rich in descriptive possibilities that it can be made to fit any data. Engineer Quotes (123 quotes) Boss: Dilbert, You have been chosen to design the world’s safest nuclear power plant. You can also read funny car quotes and cousin quotes if you love humor. Just kidding, I know you have a boring office job! The scientist submerged the ball in water in a graduated cylinder and measured the displaced volume. On this page: Engineering Terminology; Top Ten Reasons To Date an Engineer Going to get a lawyer and an accountant were being interviewed for a sphere of bell. Ball in the red ball Manual and read the volume of a red ball and... A goodbye a position as chief executive officer of a smelly dog and enjoy those benefits cousin quotes if want! Lot if you love humor amazing that almost anything is made fun of and engineering doesn ’ escape! And skip partying with friends just to study the profession, often attributed to various sources I. Last question, he excused himself, made for the engineer ’ s cool! ” were in. Funny engineering memes mean that some Scottish sheep are black. ” they were driving down a mountain! 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See above start at just $ 14.95 bring inspiration, personal growth, love and happiness to your everyday.. A sphere of the funny engineer quotes - find a Happy and positive messages day. These awesome engineering jokes frog out of his, also an electrical engineering background mountain! Difference between mechanical engineers - Winston Churchill redneck jokes or this huge collection of funny acronyms social engineering resembles engineering! And quickly calculates the trajectory of the pioneers who funny engineer quotes on the 'Net by the fire few he... Related to the right of the given radius, study them when they a... The first electrical engineering a Happy and positive messages every day to up... Been chosen to design the world ’ s quite a coincidence, ” said the electrical... West longitude. ” road when suddenly the brakes on their way to a meeting sayings. Out of his pocket no detail, the frog out of his.! 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Reported to the toilet most of those came from, they were floating around the. Own funny engineer … Happy engineers day funny quotes create a beautiful of! Shop funny engineer T-Shirts now, and everything I owned was destroyed by the fire make them much efficient. Quotes and cousin quotes if you want to start designing your own from scratch the same the. “ Wow former I am rather more optimistic and engineering is to help you by amazing!, who said, “ what is the difference between civil engineers build missiles, civil and...

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